Only A Monster
by The chibi hime
Summary: A short one-shot fic, including Seras Victoria, and her distress in the after-math of Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing's Death. Emotions aren't always shown through actions.


**Title:** _"Only a Monster."_  
**Rating**: PG13  
**Summary:**: A short one-shot Fic including Seras and her distress after the dreaded death of Sir Intregral Hellsing. Basically, a fic that I had written for a Fanfiction contest on a forum I visit, which had won first place.  
**Author's Notes**: Well, here it is...A Hellsing Fanfiction. Due to my obsession, I'm sure someone had figured it was bound to pop out one of these days...it was surely just a question of "when?" Well, to be truthful, I wrote this a month and a half or so ago..but it's still fresh I suppose. Now isn't that nice?  
**Author:** None other than, **The Chibi Hime **, of course.

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_'Master...of my master'..._

The lone vampire lay, forlorn, and without a companion in the office of Integral Wingates Hellsing. The books that had lined the desk regularly were pushed carelessly aside, inevitably toppling to the floor in time. Stretched out acrossed this newly cleared desk was Seras Victoria, the young vampiress whom Alucard, in an odd turn of events, had decided to sire. It seemed like only yesterday, when the expression of what at least seemed like, content had shone from her master's eyes. However, that, as it had been painfully apparent, had ended sourly.

Seras played with the past events in her mind, basking in the nostalgia.

_'Master of..my master'.._ played over and over in her mind. She couldn't help, but even she, felt badly for Alucard's misfortune. After all, he'd lost his master. It was something even she knew that she wouldn't be able to grasp. Even if not a companion, or someone to keep her company in her hours where she became thoughtful the most, she had her master. Her eyes wandered aimlessly acrossed the ripped and torn room, fixing themselves upon a painting, once hanging nobly on the wall, which had taken a rather hard dive to the floor. The sharp, yet warm eyes of Sir Integral's Father seemed to bore into her.

"It isn't my fault..." She mumbled softly to her accuser. He didn't seem to listen, nor care. His eyes continued to stare straight at her, creating a sort of discomfort. Forgetting the fact that it was merely a painting after all, she reciprocated the glare.

The door slid open softly, however, the noise still triggered Sera's attention, and her entire body shot up in retaliation to this.

"M-Master!" She cried aloud, relieved, although still trying desperately to contain her gladness to see him. However, her mood returned to its grim state, once she recognized the face of her visitor.

Walter, the Family steward trudged inside the ruin filled room, scooped up an odd looking stack of papers, nodded promptly to Seras, and had left as quickly as he had arrived.

Disappointment washed over her again, as she let her entire body tumble to the hardwood surface of the desk once more. Her entire body ached and moaned from being held in the same position for so long, but she forced herself to ignore it, and pleaded her joints to restrain themselves from revolting. This was where she wanted to be. Recoiling back into her thoughts, she heaved a heavy sigh.

_'He's trying to be strong...that's all...'_ Her mind pleaded, begging for an excuse for Alucard's massacre._ 'They were merely in the way..it's all okay...' _

Images flashed through her mind, tearing through her thoughts- tainting all her memories. The days when Alucard asked for her assistance merely for the satisfaction of having her watch while he slaughtered innocent people. It was his way of dealing with his loss. No matter how she looked at it, she couldn't see it in the manner in which Alucard chose to portray his opinion.

"I've lost nothing. I've gained."

She remembered the false sense of pride in his voice, the hidden anger in his eyes. No matter what way he tried to put it, she knew that he was reacting in terms of Integral's death.

She wanted to stay by his side- show him that someone was still there, but the slaughter had become too much for her innocence, and she retreated back to this place, where she had stayed and spent her time for days on end.

_'There is no master, of my master. Only a monster...'_ She squinted, letting the ceiling, concealed with dark ominous shadows fall out of focus.

" I wish..." Her thoughts had become hazy, and her mind drifted away soundly. Before she could finish this thought aloud, she'd completely fallen asleep.

She knew she could hide, but reality had washed over them all. _Some_ more than others...

_'Only a monster...'_ Her lips curled into an unusual grin, as her mind wandered freely throughout her slumber.

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**Thanks for bothering to read this, if you even have...Otherwise...I've been saddened. hehe. Anyways, so yes...Why must I insist upon being cheery, when I write such depressing things? It's the teenage angst..I swear. A god given...well...curse. lol Don't forget to review, or I won't forget to hurt you . skips away merrily-.**


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